It's only a day away.

"Are you okay with Wednesday?" Jae asked with more compassion in her voice than I felt was warranted.

"If by 'okay' you are asking if I'm going to be skipping out of the school and whistling, then yes, I'm going to be okay, " I responded in all honesty.

Bonus has his first day of kindergarten tomorrow. He's five now, and will tell you that he's 'busy' when you want a kissie or 'too tired' when you ask for help with a task he used to love. Guilt still works during those moments, but it too will eventually loose it's effectiveness.

I've always been a mom who insists my boys become independent of me. Not in the 'get lost, mommy's busy' kind of way, but more in a 'no blood, no foul' style. I want them to know I am always here for them, but reliance on me for every single glass of water when HOLY HELL THERE IS A SPOUT ON THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY seems to make me a little stabby.

But tomorrow, Bonus will put his little backpack on, grab his lunch box and trot off to a new adventure. It is similar to his other trips to mother's day out and preschool in that he will feel the separation and meet new friends, but different in that the expectations are much more than he's ever experienced. He will no longer be a 'little boy getting to play' he will be learning to read, tell time, make choices on his own. He will be, in essence, a little man. Tomorrow he will get a glimpse into what the next 12 years will hold for him and hopefully an appreciation for the kind of learning that comes from books and the playground.

My little boy is growing up.

And I think I'm okay with that.

Last Week in Pictures

Motivation to do something with these other than leave them in a random folder on my laptop courtesy of Lotus.

Jack of all trades...seriously, who am I kidding?

Since giving birth to Bonus over five years ago, I have learned many things about myself.

• Being raised by a bachelor, I truly don't notice a messy house, extra newspapers laying around, funny smells in the fridge, etc. However, having lived as  a bachelor for many years, Dorkfish is determined to not repeat that. Living with me is a daily struggle for him, I'm sure.
• God gave me boys because I am eluded by the appreciation of most things feminine. (As I sit and type in Steve's boxer briefs and t-shirt with one leg thrown over the side of my chair.) Can you imagine if I actually had to fix someone's pony tail?!
• I have a complete identity crisis and am compelled to start projects that are always over my head and beyond my ability; but I do them anyway. IE: Stained glass, sewing, painting, etc. My refusal to accept defeat has served me well, until we started potty training Deuce. Regression? I haz it!
• When it comes to all things technical and mechanical, I CAN DO IT! No joke, see first point. However, when it comes to code, rss feeds, url's, and all that fun stuff, I'm a dumbass. Complete and total moron.

The point of this list was to let you lovely readers know that while I attempt to transfer this smart-ass happy little blog over to Wordpress and then onto my REAL! LIVE! domain, there will be might be a few technical difficulties.

Because apparently my brain shuts down and the mere mention of CODE.

"Where are you going?" CRAZY, wanna come?!

I'm not sure what's wrong with my head, but I'm almost positive it's somehow related to my sons.

Yesterday, I was at Chick-Fil-A with Jessica when we met another woman. The woman walked away and Jessica said, "Wait, what was her name?"

Me: "Jessica. Her name was Jessica."

Her: "No, I would remember that."

Me: "OH WAIT! You're Jessica...then who the hell was she?"

*****

Today I got up all energized and organized. I started getting the boys ready because I have a dermatologist appointment and for the first time in my life for the first time in my life, didn't want to be late.

The boys were getting dressed, I was ironing clothes, an old friend who lives near the doctor was expecting us to show up for lunch, my forms were printed and filled out and even the old dermatologist was sending my records to the new one. All was going well, then Jessica called.

"Hey, do you want to take the boys to the pool?" she asked without remembering my BIG DAY. (Pffft.)

Me: "Nah, I've got to leave for the doctor in an hour."

Her: "Um, wasn't you appointment tomorrow?"

*silence*

Her: "Amy, are you there?"

*silence*

Me: "Yeah. So, what day is it?"

Her: "Today is Tuesday."

Me: "Shit."

*****

I guess the good news is that everything is ready to go for tomorrow!

The bad news is that I'm obviously loosing it...

Do me a favor? Make sure that someone plucks that one crazy eyebrow when you come to visit my padded room.

Where the hell are my bonbons?

In the past eighteen days, we've been at home a total of four of those. Four. Not only does that barely give one enough time to wash their underwear, it pretty much ensures your home will be a wreck. I managed to do 15 loads of laundry in those four days, but most of it is sitting on the couch.

I am not.

I am hiding in my chair, sitting atop tiny little boy pajamas. (But they are folded! Five points!)

To be quite honest, I am completely overwhelmed by the entire process of getting all the dog hair off every horizontal surface, wiping yet another sticky mystery mess off the floor, putting away 15 loads of folded clothes and making a bed that is completely trashed by two little boys who think I don't know they are eating STICKY WAFFLES on it. (Ignorance is bliss, yo.)

No one told me that THIS is what retirement was all about.

I think I got cheated.

Technorati Tags: House cleaning,Not the lifestyle I wish to become accustomed,Who fired the maid?

Vacationing with the Davis's...you're jealous.

Alright, before this place becomes one big sappy Hallmark, I'll get back to the rest of our vacation story...

*****

I realize I had left out one teensy little detail about the trip down. We stayed in a "clothing -optional community" visiting a close relative. By "clothing-optional", I mean, they choose the option of NOT wear anything.

Did I mention it's retirees?

No, there are no pictures. You're welcome.

I will share with you the two funniest quotes from that part of the trip though...

Deuce: "Momma! Dat man doesn't have on any pants!"

(Never mind the fact that NONE OF HIS FRIENDS DO EITHER.)

Bonus: "Momma, where do the policemen keep their guns?"

*****

Once we got to Bonita Springs, FL, we ended up staying at the Hyatt Regency Coconut somethingoranother. Basically, a fancy-pants hotel where the luggage carts come equipped with your very own bellboy and a minor scrape is reason to call in the EMS. I am not exaggerating about this people.

Dorkfish had some sort of safety conference where they go on and on about 'slips and trips in the dairy isle', according to dorkfish's  coworker, Bag Boy Bob. While Dorkfish and Bobby were busy learning about the urgency of the wet floor signs, I was busy being judged as the 'trophy wife' because my father had flown down to join us. The boys loved having granddaddy there and I spent the entire week trying to work the story of Dorkfish's conference and MY DAD visiting into random conversations.

Because I think my dad's handsome and all, but that's just weird.

The hotel was so ridiculously fancy-pants, they had a three-story water slide and a separate resort with 3 more pools and a lazy river. Oh, and did I mention the private island?! Geez... If it hadn't been for the beauty of it all and the fact that I enjoy a bit of pampering on occasion, I would have been embarrassed by the lavishness.

But being served this little beauty during an afternoon downpour made me feel a bit better about it all:

But did I mention the ice cream?

(Would you look at those lips?! Between those, his eyelashes and hair it's no wonder people call him a girl.)

I've officially instilled in my sons the belief that daddy may roughhouse more, but mommy is much more willing to fork out the cash she snuck out of daddy's wallet a couple of bucks for the ice cream. (Incidentally, this may or may not have anything to do with the fact that Bonus told Dorkfish, "Mudders day is WAY COOLER than Father's Day." Heehee.)

(This is a total 'suckup' face. Don't let him fool you.)

****

There was even a stop by Daytona Beach to round out our holiday.

Because one can't get enough redneck in their lives staying at a Hyatt.

By the way, did you know that Budweiser bikinis and cut-off jeans were BACK IN STYLE?! Thank you, Daytona Beach. I needed a little pick me up.

I couldn't love you more than this.

Five years ago you showed me a side to you that I had never expected. You stepped into your role as 'father' much like you had the role of 'husband' and 'best friend', with your entire heart and soul.

This family we have formed could not be any closer. We could not love each other any stronger and for that, I thank you. You have taught us how to love together, how to teach each other, support one another and mostly, you have taught us unconditional.

You wear many hats in this family; from protector:

(Safety First!)

To kisser of boo-boos:

To swim coach:

You enrich our lives in so many ways. We are more than blessed to have you.

Thank you for your patience with me and helping me to see the big picture.

But mostly, thank you for just being you.

We love you.

Happy (Belated) Father's Day!