1. If you build it, they will come....and knock it down.
2. Never trust a fitness instructor with a big ass.
3. Discounts should never apply to tattoos, tequila, or toilet paper.
4. If a cheap coffee claims to be "Good to the last drop", chances are it ain't.
5. If there's water in the floor, you will find a wet little boy nearby.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Why is it...
...they only start yelling when you're on the phone but when you finally give in and decide to play with them, they're too busy watching "Max and Wooby"...
...they only want to talk to you when you are trying to have a conversation with your spouse...
...they only poop out of their diaper when you don't have another...
...and that's also the only time you don't have spare pants either...
...(Okay, I never carry spare pants)...
...other moms carry spare pants? I think it's just so they can give you that 'look' when you have to ask to borrow them...
...they never sleep when you desperately need them to...
...and then torture you with their tiredness until you think you might loose your mind...
...aren't scared when you threaten to 'loose it'...
...in fact, they laugh at you...
...when you threaten to 'leave them' in the store, they threaten to 'chase you' and aren't phased by your 'I can outrun you' response...
...the old woman next to you doesn't think your sarcasm is funny and in fact gives you a similar look to the mom with the extra pants...
...they only want to talk to you when you are trying to have a conversation with your spouse...
...they only poop out of their diaper when you don't have another...
...and that's also the only time you don't have spare pants either...
...(Okay, I never carry spare pants)...
...other moms carry spare pants? I think it's just so they can give you that 'look' when you have to ask to borrow them...
...they never sleep when you desperately need them to...
...and then torture you with their tiredness until you think you might loose your mind...
...aren't scared when you threaten to 'loose it'...
...in fact, they laugh at you...
...when you threaten to 'leave them' in the store, they threaten to 'chase you' and aren't phased by your 'I can outrun you' response...
...the old woman next to you doesn't think your sarcasm is funny and in fact gives you a similar look to the mom with the extra pants...
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