Thursday, September 10, 2009

Martha Schmartha

It's not often that I share my domestic goddess side in this space. After all, no one comes here to feel inferior for their own lack of cleaning abilities.

Parenting, yes.

::Snort::

But seriously, it's generally not me who keeps this place in tip-top shape. After all, I've got you guys to think about. Where would you get your daily weekly dose of funny if I was too busy scrubbing the shower?!

However, yesterday, I cleaned. By "cleaned" I mean tooth-brush-in-the-grout scrubbing. (Which by the way, is far more painful than I had imagined; and by "imagined" I mean threatened by my mom when I refused to clean my bathroom.)

You will never guess my realization during this detoxifying experience....

A.) Apparently, simply using your shower DAILY will not keep it as clean as one might imagine. Also, the soap you're bathing with does not actually clean it. Shocking, I KNOW!

B.) Dr. Bronner's Magic Pure Castile soap that was so popular in the 'hippie day's' really cleans well! (I couldn't find where Dorkfish hid all the chemicals from the kids. Hush.) Anyhoo, the peppermint scented one actually makes me feel like I'm not only getting everything clean, but am getting in the Christmas spirit as well.

*aside: Do NOT scratch anywhere near your eyes while using peppermint soap...jes' sayin'.

C.) Adding baking soda to Dr. Bronner's will make such a powerful cleaning agent that you don't need to use much effort! Baking soda, people. Apparently that isn't just for sitting in the back of your fridge. (I've heard rumors that people use it for cooking, or something.)

D.) (And here's a biggie for me.) The grout lines? Apparently, they should stay white... First of all, who thought of making something that is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to keep clean, white? Really? It's like making an appliance that forces food to heat from the inside out and NOT MAKING IT SELF-CLEANING?! Oh, wait, been there too...

But back to the grout...did you KNOW those weren't actually hypercolor?!


*OH, and by the way, I was in no way compensated for mentioning the above products. Anyone who reads this blog and decided I'd be a good candidate for cleaning or cooking supplies needs more help than I do.