Saturday, May 12, 2012

Deuce's Mother's Day Gift Guide

Deuce and I are out front watering plants this morning when I informed him that tomorrow is Mother's Day.

Looking up at me with a concerned look he says, "Oh, really?! Dang, we need to get you something then."

Patting him on the head I say, "Yes, sweetie. You better get something good too," and keep watering the plants.

Obviously putting some hard thinking into this, he says, "But not a boob cup."

Puzzled, I look down and him, shut the hose off and say, "Dude. What in the world is a boob cup?!"

Straight-faced and dead serious, Deuce looks up at me and says, "When we were in Florida, Bonus and I found a coffee cup with boobs on it. He said it was a joke but I don't think you would like a boob cup."

Boob cups. The gift that keeps on giving, apparently.

But, no, they are not funny.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Role Play

Lately, Dorkfish has been working more than he has in the twelve years I have known him. While I will admit that it has been tough on everyone involved, as adults, we all realize when situations are beyond our control and we find ways to make this new situation a part of our lives. We adapt. Lately, I am finding that children are resilient as well and seem to find ways of creating their own normalcy in situations.

The boys have taken on a whole new role in my life. They cuddle me more than they ever did in the past. They insist on taking me out when I don't feel like cooking.

We walked to Waffle House for breakfast. Surprisingly, we survived the walk home as well...

 Lately, they have even taken on the role of entertainers...

A good coffee table MUST be able to be danced upon.

My tiny dancer here was blasting "I'm Sexy and I Know It" on the iSimple. (Which if you haven't seen the video, you must. I think I just peed a little.) After shooting this picture, I hopped up on the table and started dancing with him. About ten seconds into it, Deuce turns to me and says, "Mom, this isn't the 'I like big butts' song, so you can cut that out."

So apparently they are taking on the role of critics quite nicely...

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Apparently, I don't need alcohol to drunk text.

I have always been one of those people who makes spur-of-the-moment decisions. (I am sure this has nothing to do with my ADD tendencies...) So last week, I walked into the hairdresser for a 'trim' and left with a bob cut. It took me twenty minutes to convince her that I really, really, really DID  want all my hair cut off. But once she did it, we both loved it.

Proud of my new cut and pink highlights, I sent this text to mycowherdingcousinRachael. Unbeknownst to me, I still had her old number in my phone...

No, that is NOT mycowherdingcousinRachael; but a complete stranger. A stranger with a good sense of humor. Oh, and don't ask about the squinty eye; apparently, I suck at self-portraits. But how funny is Fedora Dude?! Did anyone but me notice the picture in the back ground looks JUSTLIKEHIM?!

After a response like that one, I had to write him back:

I believe this just goes to show that I shouldn't be allowed to text anyone. Ever.