Thursday, June 24, 2010

Safety First, Kids!

Last week Dorkfish was on vacation. Typically, our vacations involve a trip SOMEWHERE, ANYWHERE and we play hard, barely sleep and return home absolutely exhausted and thankful to still be speaking to one another after a week straight of me yelling at all three of them.


This time, we decided to stay home and save some money as the Mazda hasn't sold yet. (As an aside, who isn't waiting with baited breath to pick up a sweet little ride like that?! It's a sedan, people! Think of the great gas mileage!!! My next tactic is "Buy this car or we'll shoot this dog"... Wonder if PETA checks Craigslist? Hmmmm.)

Anyhoo. So, Dorkfish in his typical Type-A fashion decides we need to spend some time working around the house and tries to force me to organize the boys room...

*blink, blink*

For those of you who don't know me in person, let me just explain something. I am one of those people who considers "organization" synonymous with "being able to get the closet door closed even if you have to use all your body weight". So when my husband lovingly suggests I go through my sons dressers and pull out the clothes that no longer fit and put the in the attic, I was suddenly hit with amnesia...or was it the flu. I can't remember.

Fortunately, I couldn't remember where the knives were kept either.

But he did wise up and give up on that plan and suggested a day trip to the beach would be more appropriate. The boys had more fun than they have ever had and not once did anyone complain about sand in crevices. (Except me. Naturally. Not a beach girl.)

Ah, the shorts. My latest comedic GOLD. No, dear reader, your eyes are not deceiving you. THAT, is Dorkfish with Deuce in that last photo and he is wearing his new prized possession.... You see, the boys and I were shopping when they picked these out. Normally, I would convince them that 'daddy wouldn't like them' or something along those lines, but these were just too obnoxious and I just could not help myself. So I grabbed them and agreed to let them be a Father's Day Surprise for Dorkfish. Oh, were they a surprise. *snicker* I assumed he would thank the boys, hide the shorts in the closet and I would return them the following week. However, once he tried them on (with his black work socks, I have to add) the boys thought they were AWESOME! So being a good dad, he actually wore them TO THE POOL THAT NIGHT. I would say thank God the pool lights were off, but it wouldn't have mattered; these things are day-glow. My friend Cameron nailed it when he asked if you could play games on them. His wife, T-Racy had to look away as she snorted and mumbled something about Mike Brady wanting his shorts back. She-she tried to make him feel a little better by saying that they wouldn't look so bad once he tanned the other eight inches of his leg. (She's also the one who nicknamed them the 'Safety Shorts' because of their color.) However, that is a two-inch inseam, my friends. Let me just say that there is NOTHING safe about that...

I have to say, the amount of entertainment I have gotten out of these shorts has FAR outweighed the money paid for them. Not to mention the boys are really proud that daddy wears their shorts EVERY! TIME! WE! GO! SWIMMING! *snort* Honestly, Dorkfish is THE ONLY man I know who would proudly wear these and not care who sees him in them because his sons chose them. (Although, he did actually wear them to the grocery store which leads me to believe that he secretly likes them...)

**As a disclaimer, I have to tell you that Dorkfish approved me sharing these photos with you and as long as I said that he is a GOOD MAN for wearing the gift that his sons picked out. Since I have always been honest with you all, I have to admit that I might have persuaded Bonus and Deuce to choose this pair of shorts... But in all fairness, they did have a white pair picked out first and I do love him more than that.