Saturday, January 16, 2010

The House of the Infirmed

Bonus started back to school on Monday. (It was all I could do to not end that sentence with "!!!!1!!!!11!!!!!") Seriously, once you have tasted the beauty that is your child being gone all day to school without you having to pay out the ass for it and thus feeling guilty that you're not being productive...yeah, it's a beautiful thing.

He was sick by Wednesday.

Sigh.

It was Deuce that was the first patient. He was diagnosed with an ear and sinus infection. Great! Antibiotics! Bring. It. On. At least we can fix this! The best part about that kid is that when he's sick, he sleeps like he's been bricked. It's a blessing.     For me.

Bonus came home the next day complaining. Truthfully, 'complaining' isn't strong enough. He was raising ten shades of hell about anything and everything. I took him to the doctor yesterday and he has Strep. STREP! Let's let that sink in for a moment, shall we?

Okay.

So now we've got one who only wants to sleep and another who only wants to scream despite the fact that his throat is bleeding. (According to him.) The sound of me slamming my head in the door is apparently annoying him as well.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my kids. I would do anything for them and to make them well. I would take the sinus and ear infections, I'd take every case of strep they'd ever get in order to make them better. But the screaming at me to get them MORE JUICE! and MORE APPLESAUCE! and MORE BEER! (Oh, wait, that might have been me) is enough to make you contemplate driving your car into a bridge abutment. Thank God for Volvo's and their safety ratings...

I guess it could always be worse. My oldest girl, Dorkfish, could be sick as well. But if he so much as sniffles, I swear I'm leaving. I hear there's an island somewhere with my name on it.