Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Only. Deuce.

In a rare Amo-moment, I am actually posting twice in one day.

Simply because this is too funny to not post RIGHT. NOW.

A couple weekends ago, some girlfriends and I got together and were discussing what age was it no longer appropriate to allow your male child see you naked. Unanimously, we all decided that the age was best determined by the individual child. Bonus is seven now, but he has never stared or made any comments that would make me feel uncomfortable, so we haven't been overly cautious with him.

And then we have Deuce...

This afternoon, I am laying in the bathtub in hopes it will help my aches and Deuce comes walking in. We are having a conversation about our favorite colors and whether it matters if he chooses to play with the white or blue trucks. At this point, feeling weak enough to circle the drain with the bathwater, I was just agreeing with him.

Suddenly, he looks at my body like he has never noticed it before and says, in all seriousness and with much concern, "Momma! You have a piece of carpet on your penis!"

Only. Deuce.

Sick Day at Davis Ranch...always a laugh a minute.

So I'm sick again.


This time it would appear to be a sinus infection that my body can't quite fight as well as it should thanks to the mono. Before you say anything, I realize that you can't actually 'give' someone a sinus infection, so I am not attributing this one to Dorkfish. Well, not entirely. You see, I did find THIS in the cabinet last night when I thought I was going to DIE unless I got some rest:

Exhibit A:

Yeah, that empty bottle coupled with there only being ONE advil in the jar leads me to believe that this may be my last post...

Ironically, it would appear that Deuce is already preparing for my parting. Today, when I was finally able to lay down and get a short nap in, the phone rang. It was Sheshe. I answered and in a concerned tone she said, "Hey, are you okay?"

Me: "Yes, I'm napping. Why?"

Sheshe: "Well, I have your son here with me..."

Me: "What?! Wait, which one?! Bonus is in school..."

Sheshe: "Yeah, it's the little one. He said that he tried to wake up mommy and she wouldn't wake up. So he came here. He also has a cane because his leg is broken."

So Sheshe brought him home and I laid the guilt on THICK. After she told me that she had explained that he did the right thing by coming to her house, I went with the same line. When he got out of timeout for lying and wandering off, I sent him to his room to clean up.

Me: "Deuce, do you understand why mommy got so upset?"

Deuce: "Yeah, I do. Because I scared you."

Me: "Yes, buddy. You did. Now get your cane and take it back in your room too."

Deuce: "Um, mommy? The broken leg was a lie too..."

It's going to be a long day...