Thursday, September 4, 2008

Quite the day...

I knew it would be rough. I knew I would be rushing around last minute to get it all together. But I certainly didn't deserve the day that I am now trying to forget...

I get the boys up, dressed, fed and out the door at a reasonable hour and attempt to fight the current to get back home to clean and pack. (At that time of the day, it doesn't matter where you're going around Knoxville, it's always swimming upstream.)

On the way home, I realize that I am almost past due for an oil change. Ordinarily I would shrug that one off and hopefully remember it before Steve realized it. Immediately a memory pops in my mind that convinces me to take the time. -Steve went to get the oil changed in my Mazda and it was waaaay over due. Yes, I knew it. Not only did I know and had put it off, I took the little sticker out of the window so he wouldn't know... I know, baaaaad Amy. Anyway, he takes it in and then comes home to inform me that the oil wasn't that dirty. He sounded a little proud. I, unfortunately, was only half-way listening and piped up with, "Oh, yeah. That's because I put more in. Apparently, if you let it run out, you can just add more and skip the whole oil change thingy all together!" Truly it was one of those internal thoughts that you didn't realize had been verbalized until it was much too late. The glare was almost unbearable...

So, I stop. I stop at the slowest place on earth with the glimmer of hope that it would only take 30 minutes as they had promised over the phone. No such luck. An hour and a half later I am now twitching from the thought of this precious time that is slipping between my fingers...or some dirty mechanic's. Ug. It's killing me....

I finally make it home. Not only did I not bother to empty the suitcase from the last trip, I am throwing clothes from across the room and hoping the land inside! Honestly, I am a bit worried as I look back on it because I can't remember a single thing I packed. But it got done. I packed for 3 people, got a 2,663 square foot house show-ready, and made it out the door just in time to pick them up before nap time. All was looking good...

Then comes the trip...

The boys actually napped, not long enough, but it did give me some quiet time and saved me from "What's in that truck, momma? What about that one? And that one?" "Momma, what happens if that one gauge gets in the red?" "The car blows up." "Really momma? Are you kiddin'? You're kiddin' aren't you, momma?" "No son, the engine would explode." "Weeeaaawwwyyyy????" "I don't know. Ask your father."

The the movie started. Half way into the second round of Tom and Jerry, I see blue lights... You have to be kidding me. We've made it 4 hours and haven't stopped. They boys are happy and we're making great time. (Which is why the blue lights are here...)

Me: "Beaux, you know how you wanted to see a State Trooper? Well, here's your chance."
Beaux: "Why? Are you getting pulled over? What'd you do?"
Me: "I was speeding, son."
Beaux: "Ohhhhh. You're in trouble. Bet he gives you a ticket. Will he take you to jail?"

Cop: "License and registration, mam. So, what's the hurry?"
Beaux: "Hi, Mr. Officer! I'm Beaux!"
Me: "Um, officer, I was just keeping with the traffic. Didn't even realize I was speeding."
Beaux: "Mr. Officer. Mommy was peeding. Is she getting a ticket?"


So I get the ticket and a very stern "You have a MANDATORY court appearance in Greensboro on October 8th at 8:30 a.m. Do you have any questions?" Yeah, at this point I'm reeling. Does mandatory really mean mandatory or can I just pay a huge fine. I mean really, how in the hell am I going to report to court on a Wednesday morning in some county that is 4 hours from home?! But before I could ask any questions, my precious little boy says, "Mr. Officer. Would you like some goldfish? We have apple juice too!" "Um, no officer. I don't have any questions."

Nice. 85 in a 65?! Was I really going that fast?! And how in the hell did he catch me in the middle of all that traffic...hmmm...

...

So we get to Steve's apartment. At least it is all up hill from here. I've got help now! Steve always has the best chips and salsa so I run in the kitchen and dig in. That was one thing I had forgotten today...to eat. Before I could enjoy my first bite, I get a chip wedged between my tooth and gum behind my tooth. How does that happen, you ask...I have no damn clue. But I can verify that not only does it hurt like hell, it doesn't just slide back out. In fact, it has now been wedged in there for almost 4 hours now. The pain has subsided and I am just hoping it will figure it out on it's own.

But then comes the last straw. You might think that the previous events would have been it, but no. It is an "Amy Day". Oh yes... The boys decide after swimming that we will all get in the bath together. Fine. I could use a bath even if it does come with two little splashers. Or so I thought. Beaux gets out and Spruce starts turning red. Not the usual 'water's too hot' or 'I'm getting ready to scream'. Oh no. This was the 'pinching one off' red face. "STEVE!!! COME GET HIM! HE'S POOPING!!!" Did he make it in time??? Of course not. If he had, it would have ruined the roll we were on. The kid filled the tub. Brown trout everywhere. Sure, some sank, but most floated...yay. Good times.

Tomorrow will be better. I will bathe alone.