Let me just start out by warning you, Mams is back.
And she is FULL. OF. IT. this time....
Just to give you an example, she was sitting with Dorkfish last night reminiscing when he interrupted her. "Yes, Mams, I know what you mean about how some people are just likable. A lot of people like me. I am a likable guy," he said smugly. Mams, without even pausing to ponder this statement said, "Well, Dorkfish, you sure keep that hidden well."
I love her.
She is and always has been one of those people who can't remember a punch line to save their life, but is never short on the snark. Fortunately, Deuce has inherited her quick wittiness. As exhibited by our shopping trip yesterday.
We were upstairs in a department store and mams was headed for the elevator. The direction she was going was only taking her to a glass railing for the second floor. Deuce and I tried to tell her it was the wrong direction, but at 86 you honestly don't give a damn about other people's opinions. (I am learning this quickly.) Deuce asks me, "Where does Mams think she's going?!" I explained that Mams has her own way of doing things and she would find the elevator eventually. "Let's just hope she finds it before she hits the glass railing, though," I added with a smartass tone. Picking up on my snark immediately, Deuce yells across the store to Mams, "DON'T JUMP MAMS! YOU'VE ONLY GOT ANOTHER THREE OR FOUR MORE GOOD YEARS LEFT!!!"
That's when I peed my pants.