Monday, March 29, 2010

Thank goodness she's not a runner...

After the Great Mams Adventure where she came to visit and was stuck here for a month, she finally volunteered to return. Yes, I fully took advantage of her senility and never mentioned it had only been a couple of weeks since I had taken her home.


However, once we got to Tennessee, Mams decided she would just enjoy our visit there and not return back to North Carolina after all. Surprisingly, duct tape is more difficult to get off of 84-year-old skin than one would imagine.

But she's really enjoying her visit with us this time! She's helping the boys learn their words by making these big signs of the 'word of the week' and pasting them in her bedroom window. Apparently, the word of the week is "HELP". She's also been insisting on trying to get the mail so she could 'make friends with the mail lady', but I've been keeping her in the house so she doesn't fall down the front steps. I'm sure my 'assisting elderly' badge will be here any day.

I do have to admit that I'm tired of untieing the bedsheets. Although, she is getting good at making rope ladders out of them! Who said little old ladies only crochet?!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Truth Fairy

Bonus finally lost his first tooth.

Well, technically, he didn't "loose it" so much as I convinced him that my friend Carrie was a dentist and therefore was fully trained on the fine art of tooth removal.

He did look a little concerned when she shoved a paper towel in his mouth and considering she had just been holding rabbits in the back of her pickup truck, I didn't blame the kid. (Yes, I miss my Tennessee life...)

In researching the current compensation for a tooth, I've found that you people are crackers. There is no way my kid is getting up to $10 per tooth. Hell, I'd already decided he was lucky if he got more than that handful of change I dug out of the couch last week when he thought dumping his piggy bank out on was a good idea...

(And yes, I fully planned on using his own money for the tooth fairy crap as I have been the one picking up coins for days.)

But then I came up with a great idea.... I wrote a letter from the tooth fairy to go under his pillow:

Dear Bonus,

I am so proud of you for being such a big boy and loosing your first tooth! Congratulations! The current rate is $1 per tooth, despite what your friends may tell you. Also, your girlfriend who said that 'when you loose your first tooth you get the Barbie you always wanted' was lying.

I have heard that you are trying to save up money right now to replace your bike tire that you flattened with a drill bit "just to see what a flat tire looked like". Considering you haven't been doing the chores your mother requested in order to earn that money back, I've decided to just give the dollar to your mother to help offset the cost of this new tire.

Maybe by the time your next tooth falls out, you will have worked that off and will actually get the dollar yourself. (You know, your mom only got a quarter when she was a kid...)

Best wishes and happy dental health,

The Tooth Fairy

Genius, right?! It's all sorts of parenting gold. Aside from keeping the fantasy going, he's getting a little lesson in the process!

Dorkfish refused to let me do it. He insisted it would 'scar the kid for life' or something.

These people just don't get my humor...