UPDATE: He's trying to kill me for sure now.

Last month, I told you about Dorkfish trying to 'off me'. It started out as a joke; a bit of a 'har-har' but the gloves have come off. I believe we are in full-on WATCH. YOUR. BACK. mode now.

He has been on vacation for the past two weeks and has been happily pointing out how effortlessly he keeps the house clean, puts food on the table, entertains the kids, and is now befriending my neighborhood posse. Honestly, I should have seen that one coming when he brought a box of donuts to the bus stop last fall... I generally only bring a beer, and the funny, of course. Don't get me wrong, I certainly appreciate a man who can do all these household chores with such ease and I am grateful that he comes home and picks up my slack. But the 'little comments' pointing out how effortlessly he manages to take on these tasks makes me a little concerned...

For example, last week he looked at me from the kitchen where he was washing dishes and said, "You know. If you were to die right there in that chair and no one came to check on you for a couple of weeks, our dog would eat you."

I'm not sure exactly what he meant by that comment, but I can tell you that the smirk said it all. The dog doesn't seem to be in on his plan yet, but I am watching them both pretty closely. Well, I was until I got sick. I'm not sure how he managed this one, but I have contracted mono. I have to admit, he's good. Real Good.

Ironically, it is damb difficult to sleep with one eye open when you're constantly exhausted...