Sunday, March 11, 2012

Bad Drivers, Christian Sushi and Drunk College Girls or Florida Trip: Day One

We finally made it to Florida! Apparently, the pan handle of Florida is one of those youcan'tgettherefromhere kinda places when you live near Raleigh. Who knew?! I will save you from the what-is-wrong-with-everysingleother-driver-except-me stories. But I will tell you that every driver that tried to get me to giftwrap their car with the bowtie on the front of mine, was a BMW. Not that I have anything against them, but let's just say that the old joke holds true...
"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?"

"On a BMW, the pricks are on the inside."

(Sorry, Sheshe.)

As with any road trip with young children, there were a lot of questions: 'How much longer?!', 'Are we in Florida YET?!', 'When we get there, can we go to the beach FIRSTTHING?!' Most of these were answered with my traditional response, "Three days." No, it doesn't answer thier questions, but it confuses them long enough that they forget they asked.

Apparently, this is spring break as well. Since we are on a year-round schedule and the boys are out for three weeks, I no longer pay attention to minor details such as this. I guess when the beach house owner told me there was an extra $700 damage deposit due for this week, I should have picked up on something amiss. But don't worry, we figured it out awfully quickly. As we were unloading the Tahoe, Deuce came running in the house with a shocked look on his face and said, "Momma, there is a baaaaad mommy out there!" I walked outside just in time to see her loading a case of Keystone Light into the back of her Jeep and head toward the pool. Her children, who may be old enough to drink, met her in the middle of the street and she yelled, "If y'all don't get your asses outta da road, Imma gonna run you over. I'm bringin' ya the beer up to the pool!" I patted Deuce on the head and said, "Hey she isn't making them walk all the way back here for their beer, at least."

The part of Destin where we are staying, is not only convenient to almost every shop, grocery store and restaurant you could think of, but it is also the busiest. I could honestly walk to the store quicker than I could drive. (But refuse to since you then end up buying more crap than you can carry home and find yourself contemplating asking a homeless guy for help in exchange for a beer.) So we drove. As soon as we pulled in, I saw this sign:

I turned to Beesh and said, "Hey! Look! We will have to try out that sushi place tomorrow!" To which he responded, "Um, that's a Christian bookstore..." *sigh*

Honestly, the best part of the drive was when we were driving beside the bay and could see Destin across the water. I pointed to the shore and said, "Look boys! We are finally near Destin!"

Deuce: "Are we in a foreign country?..."

Bonus: "Of course we are. We're in Pennslyvania."

I have no clue, so don't even ask. Let's just say that between statements like these and the young, drunk, college girls running around in bikinis, this trip is going to be very entertaining...