Unfortunately, this is one mandate that Dorkfish has refused to acknowledge. So we keep it on the downlow....
We celebrated birthday lunch with which ever fast food establishment Deuce chose, which sadly was Scottish food every time...thank you golden arches. We enjoyed ice cream breaks between meals. There were bike trips around the neighborhood and vanilla milk at Starbucks. It was lovely, and according to my thighs, successful.
In preparation for his actual birthday, I'd ask him every single day, "Deuce, are you ready for your birthday?!" To which he would respond with something equally as ridiculous as the question, "I'm ready like a pineapple."
(That one might rival me in absurd retorts.)
*****
My dad came over for the weekend to help us celebrate. I don't think he had any idea what he was walking into... The boys have gotten, let's say, a little more rowdy lately with Dorkfish working a lot and me giving up the will to live and all. But it was "birfday week", so I tend to overlook the lunacy for a bit.
All Deuce asked to do for his birthday was go to the circus. Of course, there isn't one in town right now. (Naturally.) So Dorkfish convinced him that bowling was the NEXT! BIG! THING! My dad agreed to join us even though it had been 'thirty-five years' since he had last bowled. Never mind the fact that got a spare in every frame.... I'm thinking there was a "King Pin" story in his past that he's refusing to share.
After two frames, Deuce was done. I tried to get him to finish his game, but he insisted, "Bowling wasn't my idea, you know."
(Dorkfish loves this picture... Heh.)
In an effort to make the next day more enjoyable, I convinced him that the zoo would be a good "birfday week" event. Little did I know, it had to have been the busiest day of the year...and there must have been a coupon in a WalMart somewhere. It was ridiculous. We spent three hours in the car to fight with thousands of tourists for the chance to see an orangutan scratching his ass. (And it was one of those that look like their ass is on fire from hemorrhoids. Ick.) At this point, it was impossible for me to even fake enjoyment. The "I wanna go home" started about an hour into the trip and the whining about the crowds and pollen continued until my dad and Dorkfish got me into the car.
But Deuce enjoyed it for a little while...
*****
For his actual "birfday party", we had all our neighbors and friends come to the park in our neighborhood for cake and ice cream. It was so amazing to see that many kids playing together and having so much fun. Not a single fight broke out and only once did I threaten to choke Dorkfish.
I think that was a win.
In all, the only casualty of the day was the turtle piñata.
The noose was the only option as it was too heavy to hang by the hook. (Sorry PETA!) But it was pretty damn funny to see it fall every time a kid hit it and one little piece of candy come rolling out. All 30+ kids would go running for it in a mad dash and one would walk away, victorious, with their Reese's while the others looked on in jealousy.
In all, I'm pretty sure the party made up for the crappy bowling and over-crowded zoo.
I believe the duck hat says it all...
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