Your Daily Deuce

Deuce has always been the one to make the strangest correlations, but the past two days he has truly surpassed all the others.


Deuce: "Momma, I finished my nap."

Me: "Um, why are you naked?"

Deuce: "Because my bed was wet."

Me: "You peed your bed?"

Deuce: "I don't know. I was asleep and it got peed on."

Me: "Okay, go take your sheets off and I'll get you some shorts."

Deuce: "I WILL NEVER DO THAT. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW TO TAKE THE SHEETS OFF!"

Me: "Then you better learn how to wash your own clothes, cause you'll be changing them a lot."

Deuce: "I'll go naked, but thanks mom."

~~~~~~~~~~

Deuce: "My tummy ache is the kind that burns your eyes."

Me: "Your tummy hurts so bad, it makes your eyes burn?"

Deuce: "No. It's like that bad shampoo. It's a eye-burning, tummy ache."

Me: *

~~~~~~~~~~

Deuce: "Daddy, we're all out of butt cream!"

Dorkfish: "Dude, you don't wear diapers anymore. You don't need butt cream."

Deuce: "We! Need! Butt! Cream! When I turn five, I'm going to grow a mustache, go to the store and buy butt cream by myself."



Now tell me that he won't be living in my basement forever...