Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Truth Fairy

Bonus finally lost his first tooth.

Well, technically, he didn't "loose it" so much as I convinced him that my friend Carrie was a dentist and therefore was fully trained on the fine art of tooth removal.

He did look a little concerned when she shoved a paper towel in his mouth and considering she had just been holding rabbits in the back of her pickup truck, I didn't blame the kid. (Yes, I miss my Tennessee life...)

In researching the current compensation for a tooth, I've found that you people are crackers. There is no way my kid is getting up to $10 per tooth. Hell, I'd already decided he was lucky if he got more than that handful of change I dug out of the couch last week when he thought dumping his piggy bank out on was a good idea...

(And yes, I fully planned on using his own money for the tooth fairy crap as I have been the one picking up coins for days.)

But then I came up with a great idea.... I wrote a letter from the tooth fairy to go under his pillow:

Dear Bonus,

I am so proud of you for being such a big boy and loosing your first tooth! Congratulations! The current rate is $1 per tooth, despite what your friends may tell you. Also, your girlfriend who said that 'when you loose your first tooth you get the Barbie you always wanted' was lying.

I have heard that you are trying to save up money right now to replace your bike tire that you flattened with a drill bit "just to see what a flat tire looked like". Considering you haven't been doing the chores your mother requested in order to earn that money back, I've decided to just give the dollar to your mother to help offset the cost of this new tire.

Maybe by the time your next tooth falls out, you will have worked that off and will actually get the dollar yourself. (You know, your mom only got a quarter when she was a kid...)

Best wishes and happy dental health,

The Tooth Fairy

Genius, right?! It's all sorts of parenting gold. Aside from keeping the fantasy going, he's getting a little lesson in the process!

Dorkfish refused to let me do it. He insisted it would 'scar the kid for life' or something.

These people just don't get my humor...


Carrie said...

Don't think I didn't notice how you overlooked the fact that after we held bunnies in the back of my pretty blue Chevy Silverado (LT with the leather heated seats, not some clunker used to tote chickens and drunk neighbors) we cleaned our hands with antibacterial wipes because I responsible like that. hurmph.

Tara R. said...

That was an awesome letter! Think of what you could do with ones from the Easter Bunny and Santa!!

Angie @ Just Like The Number said...

I've missed you and your delicate sense of humor! I love the letter myself.

When Elena lost her first tooth I dutifully put a dollar in her little tooth pillow. She woke me up the next morning going on and on about how the tooth fairy left her $5! Turns out Mike went in behind my cheap ass and gave her more money. KInd of made me want to pull out my own tooth and see what he'd give me.

Amo said...

@Carrie, It was definitely a quality rabbit-hauler. And leather is the seat of choice for hauling drunk neighbors, you know....
Miss you already.

@Angie, Let me know, I think I have a loose one too.....

dancing_lemur said...

Yay! You're back in blogland!

And I agree, the letter is genius. 10 bucks, really??? I seem to recall being thrilled with a quarter.