"Are you okay with Wednesday?" Jae asked with more compassion in her voice than I felt was warranted.
"If by 'okay' you are asking if I'm going to be skipping out of the school and whistling, then yes, I'm going to be okay, " I responded in all honesty.
Bonus has his first day of kindergarten tomorrow. He's five now, and will tell you that he's 'busy' when you want a kissie or 'too tired' when you ask for help with a task he used to love. Guilt still works during those moments, but it too will eventually loose it's effectiveness.
I've always been a mom who insists my boys become independent of me. Not in the 'get lost, mommy's busy' kind of way, but more in a 'no blood, no foul' style. I want them to know I am always here for them, but reliance on me for every single glass of water when HOLY HELL THERE IS A SPOUT ON THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY seems to make me a little stabby.
But tomorrow, Bonus will put his little backpack on, grab his lunch box and trot off to a new adventure. It is similar to his other trips to mother's day out and preschool in that he will feel the separation and meet new friends, but different in that the expectations are much more than he's ever experienced. He will no longer be a 'little boy getting to play' he will be learning to read, tell time, make choices on his own. He will be, in essence, a little man. Tomorrow he will get a glimpse into what the next 12 years will hold for him and hopefully an appreciation for the kind of learning that comes from books and the playground.
My little boy is growing up.
And I think I'm okay with that.
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9 comments:
Thank you the high heavens with a cherry on top for writing a post like this. If I have to read one more "OH MY GOD MY BABY'S GROWING UP AND GOING TO PRESCHOOL/KINDERGARTEN/CAMP/HIS FIRST SLEEPOVER! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? HOW CAN MY BABY BE SO BIG ALREADY?" post I'm going to throw my computer out the window. I love the growing up part best of all and I relish all of these firsts and lasts and new adventures. That is exactly why I had kids, for the growing up part! Good luck to your little man on his first day of kindergarten. (p.s. What kind of school year starts in July? Just curious.)
You must have year-round school. I was like this with my daughter - no tears, excited about each new phase.
I'm way older now and with my boys I get emotional about certain things and write posts that kill Jill. heh.
@Jill Thanks! It's so hard to be all 'eh' about the going to school thing when everyone expects you to be all sappy. I guess sappy just isn't my style...
Bonus's school is year-round. So we are off June, September, December, and March. I think I'm going to love it b/c I don't like vacationing with the rest of suburbia. Again, goes back to bucking the system. ;)
@Amy I love your posts about your boys! I get emotional with other aspects of their lives, just not school. (Maybe because I need a break?!)
I did cry when my oldest started K5, but that could have been b/c the teacher had to pry him off of me and I had to walk away while he SCREAMED "Don't leave me, mommy! Don't leave me!" God, break my heart.
I thought I would be emotional about my baby, but I didn't cry. But I may cry now after finding out you have year-round school. I would love to take a fall vacay instead of summer.
my kid's year in kindergarten changed her a lot. Matured, I'd say although the tantrum last week would prove otherwise.
Jessica - tmh
So adorable!
And also this is the good thing about having your kid in school since the age of 3 months. Kindergarten will be easy for me.
I think.
I am so jealous the Queen of Shake Shake follows your blog!! Your such a great mommy and friend. I just hoping hanging out with you will mellow me. I can only hope:)
I am so jealous the Queen of Shake Shake follows your blog!! Your such a great mommy and friend. I just hoping hanging out with you will mellow me. I can only hope:)
it's sorta crazy seein' the boys grow up in pictures with you'n steve-o seem's to stay the same! i miss you guys and the days of B bn just a baby and we'd have to keep from wakin him up when we got in from a flight or when the outsidedog was an insidedog getting to play the part of ill or injured pt for steve and i while u did the kinda cookin u did best, at that time, and baked us some cookies :) hope to see you guys soon. -Ra
-ps... tell me what i could do to improve my webpage there webmaster amo ;)
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