"Are you okay with Wednesday?" Jae asked with more compassion in her voice than I felt was warranted.
"If by 'okay' you are asking if I'm going to be skipping out of the school and whistling, then yes, I'm going to be okay, " I responded in all honesty.
Bonus has his first day of kindergarten tomorrow. He's five now, and will tell you that he's 'busy' when you want a kissie or 'too tired' when you ask for help with a task he used to love. Guilt still works during those moments, but it too will eventually loose it's effectiveness.
I've always been a mom who insists my boys become independent of me. Not in the 'get lost, mommy's busy' kind of way, but more in a 'no blood, no foul' style. I want them to know I am always here for them, but reliance on me for every single glass of water when HOLY HELL THERE IS A SPOUT ON THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY seems to make me a little stabby.
But tomorrow, Bonus will put his little backpack on, grab his lunch box and trot off to a new adventure. It is similar to his other trips to mother's day out and preschool in that he will feel the separation and meet new friends, but different in that the expectations are much more than he's ever experienced. He will no longer be a 'little boy getting to play' he will be learning to read, tell time, make choices on his own. He will be, in essence, a little man. Tomorrow he will get a glimpse into what the next 12 years will hold for him and hopefully an appreciation for the kind of learning that comes from books and the playground.
My little boy is growing up.
And I think I'm okay with that.