OutdoorDogs

Last night, we took the boys out to get some pizza. I don't believe I've ever mentioned it on here before, but Deuce is quite possibly the PICKIEST eater in. the. world. Despite my begging, pleading, threats and punishments, he won't even try a single bite of any food that he deems 'icky'. The term 'icky' appears to apply to just about any food, lately. Peanut butter is too 'icky' because of the stickiness, noodles are too 'icky' because they squiggle, etc. Cheese, however, is okay as long as he can't see it peeking through the pieces of bread. This is a very important detail in the Life of Deuce. I have now resorted to making grilled cheese sandwiches and ensuring the cheese is pushed in fully between the bread to make certain there is no visual stringiness...

Laugh if you must, but once you find something that works you go with it. To be honest, I'm a bit proud of some of my recent endeavors. For example, I finally found a way to get him to eat cheese sticks! Granted, it involves me 'sandwiching' together individual cheese sticks and cutting them into little 'cheese stick sandwich bites' and hoping he didn't see any of it...

Hush.

But last night, when I served his cheese stick bites, cut into one-inch squares thankyouverymuch, he looked down with disdain and said, "Um, I think I asked for triangles...ugh."

That's the point where your head explodes and you find yourself speaking in tongues, just for those of you out there without kids...

I believe that, through gritted teeth, I explained that this was all he was getting and I didn't give a flying kitten if he ate it or not.

Two minutes later:

Deuce stood up, holding his fork in the air with a 'one-inch square cheese sandwich bite' pierced on the end and exclaimed, "THERE'S SOMETHING GROSS IN MY FOOOOOOD!!!!"

At that point, the entire restaurant came to a hush.

I leaned over to inspect the carnage and there, sticking through the cheese I had so carefully hidden was the offending object. I put my head in my hands and mumbled through my fingers, "Deuce, that is the tine of your fork."

He sat back down and said to the table, "WHEW! It's okay everybody. It was just my fork. You can keep eating."