Saturday, October 30, 2010

A Bright Future...

On Thursday, I told you about Bonus' little 'incident' in the cafeteria and how they apparently don't take kindly to the deafening sound that is made by crushing a milk carton in the cafeteria.

Seriously, they should live with him. That. Is. Nothing.

His teacher had already warned me that he hadn't returned the Here's-How-Screwed-Up-Your-Child-Is note, so I was completely prepared when he got off the bus.

Me: (In my most obnoxious mom tone.) "Hey Babe! How was school?!"

Bonus: (Staring at the ground.) "Um, good. It was a good day."

Me: "So, no problems we need to talk about?"

Bonus: "Um, nope. Not a thing. Nothing. Nope. Not at all."

Yeah, the kid can't lie to save his life. So we came home, I showed him his NEW! SHOES! I had purchased him since he'd had such a GREAT! WEEK! AT! SCHOOL! He did his homework so he could get ICE! CREAM! for being SO! GOOD! THIS! WEEK! Yet not once did he crack. He's either got a future in the CIA or he'll be in prison...

In fact, he even made it all the way to the car (where he spilled a milk and blamed it on Deuce even though he wasn't even IN THE CAR YET) before the game ended. By then, my patience had grown thin and I sent him to his room where I proceeded to lay it on thick.

Me: "Bonus, you know that when you LIE you get in MUCH WORSE TROUBLE than when you tell the TRUTH. Right?!"

Bonus: "Yeah."

Me: "And you LIED to me about spilling the milk. Didn't you?"

Bonus: "Yeah."

Me: "So if you have LIED about anything ELSE, I would suggest you tell me about it NOW because if I find out LATER it will be BAAAAAAAD. Is there anything you want to TELL ME NOW?"

Bonus: "Um... Nope."

Me: *sigh*

So I left him in there for a few more days, er minutes, and he finally caved.

He walked out with this:

My favorite part is the false start on the A.

That kid has a future, I tell ya...


Angie @ Just Like The Number said...

You know what would have been even more awesome? If he'd returned the note that way and the teacher called you in for a conference. And you could have been all, "Um, that is actually my signature, ma'am." I'd pay good money to see her face.

Your kids are awesome.

Michelle said...

Priceless! You should save a copy of that for the baby book! As my mom says - someday you'll just look back at this and laugh...

Dawn said...

I was just checking in on you to be sure you guys are still on the planet. I absolutely love the innocence of Bonus thinking the teacher wouldn't know the difference between your handwriting and his. It's a priceless look at the mind of a child, especially the use of only your first name.

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

I seriously just laughed out loud at "A M Y."