Thursday, February 11, 2010

It's all about the magic.

Two days ago, I woke up with an incredible soreness in my gums, behind all my teeth. After consulting Dr. Dorkfish who diagnosed it as eating soup that was too hot the night before, I inspected them in the bathroom mirror. Just a little redness, nothing serious.

The next day, they're worse.

And there were red and white patches.

And I started feeling achy.

(Just to clarify, I've never even had so much as a canker sore in my mouth so this new revelation took me back to a conversation with a friend my freshman year in college which involved a "what does this look like to you" discussion. Poor, dumb, girl....ahem.)

So I call Dorkfish home from work and make him take me and our three year old to the doctor. Deuce had been complaining of an ear ache for three days now, so I figured we'd make it an all-skate.

The doctor looked all inside my mouth and asked me if it hurt to pee.


Seriously, did it hurt to pee?! Listen here, Jackass, if it was THAT, I wouldn't be sitting here with my husband AND kid nowwouldI?!

He decided it was a mystery virus. Nothing they can do for it, but come back in five days if it's not better. (Google could have done that for me and the co pay would have been much more reasonable.)

So he sends me home with a prescription for a numbing mouthwash called, "Magic Mouthwash"....

The directions on the bottle say, "Swish and Spit".....

I'm now wondering how much that little bottle would go for on the local college campus?

By the way, Mams keeps calling it "Trench Mouth" which is not at all helping the pain....


Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

Hoof disease, maybe? You're sleeping with pigs, aren't you? Did we learn nothing from the swine flu?

Amy said...

Trench mouth? God that sounds awful.

What's with you and the mystery illnesses? Knock it off!

tarable said...

I'm so calling you Dirty Mouth McGee from here on out...