Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Value of a Dollar

Alright, guys. This is something I have never asked…but desperate times and all…

I told you all about Maddie and how her family had been raising money for March of Dimes for the walk and then the little angel unexpectedly went to be with the Lord. I can honestly say that words cannot express the grief I have experienced for a child I never knew or the family I never met.

But I jumped on the Maddie bandwagon in hopes of easing some grief…for all of us. Well, the lovely internets stepped up and donated a ton of money in memory of this precious child with an infectious smile. And it was awesome.

Now the family is faced with the real-life world of not only coping with this loss, but burying their baby. I can personally attest to the cost of burying a loved one and if you haven’t, well, let’s just say it ain’t cheap.

So here’s the deal, I’m asking you lovely readers to donate a dollar. Seriously. That’s 1/5 of your Starbuck’s coffee…I know because I am a recovering addict. Heh.

But seriously. A buck. You could find that under the seat of your car. Just click the link, send a buck via the safe paypal site and then take a moment to realize how damn fortunate we are that we aren’t spending our Easter holiday in this manner…

 

 

Thank you.

~Amo

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

For Madeline Alice Spohr

I cannot imagine a grief deeper than that of loosing a child.

A mother is grieving tonight. A family is suffering.

They only had her for 17 short months.

This precious preemie was giggling only a few days ago and is now in the Lord's arms.



For Maddie.

For others.

For yourself.

Please give.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Communicable diseases are best when shared, right?!

As I predicted...we're infected.

And, as I predicted...Bonus DOES have MRSA.

Also as predicted...the rest of us have 'suspicious spots' that the doctor decided today were most likely MRSA as well. All of us, that is, except Deuce and the dog. If you ask me, one of them was the one who brought the plague upon this house. They are both now referred to as "Typhoid Tommy and Typhoid Molly". (Anybody ever see Twelve Monkeys?)

Next on the predictions...I'll inherit a million dollars from a long-lost aunt and be able to finally buy that much-coveted pink unicorn with a rainbow mane and jelly bean poop.

While I'm waiting, feel free to send money...or wine. I'm not picky.

But you might not want to come in. Just stand on the sidewalk and throw it in the general direction of the house.

You should be fine.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Rollin’ without training wheels but with a possibly fatal disease. Das how we roll…

It started with a small pimple inside his teeny little five-year-old-boy nostril. We thought nothing of it.

Two weeks later, the pimple returned but with a vengeance. We were traveling and didn’t worry since the first had cleared up with no problems….aside from a small scar.

Last week another one showed up on his bicep. A muscle that is finally gaining distinction and tone. A status symbol to him. He flexes his little arm daily to show his daddy how big his muscle is getting and is quite certain that it must be as large as daddy’s by now. In fact, when I bandaged this miniscule pimple, he muttered under his breath, “Now people won’t be able to see my muscle so good.” (I laughed out loud and he hit me with a pillow.)

But this little pimple, that appeared to be nothing more than a spider bite, started to grow.

Four days later, he was complaining of pain. Any complaint of pain from Bonus is always cause for concern. This child has a tolerance unlike any other. Shots don’t even phase him. We have learned over the past five years, and warned others, that if he is crying then he’s bleeding profusely or his feelings have been crushed. I looked at the previously teeny red spot to find a pea-sized pimple. Full-blown and angry. The scary part was that there was fever in the sore.

I did the most logical thing any mom would do at 7 p.m….and turned to webmd. You’ve always been cautioned to NEVER go by that as a diagnosis. I have never followed ‘suggestions’ well.

First, the symptoms pointed to a boil. Great! I can handle that. I can do hot compresses and ‘see a doctor if needed’. That is right up my alley!

Then, I began coming across ‘make sure it isn’t MRSA’, and to say I started to freak the hell out…well, there is an understatement. That last line the first paragraph there? Yeah, you read it right. It says, “MRSA can be fatal.” FATAL. As in ‘circling-the-drain’. My baby could have something that can kill him. (I realize there are two “ifs” in the sentence…but when dealing with your child, ANY ‘if’ is cause for alarm.)

I grabbed Steve’s arm, showed him the sites, gestured to my precious baby’s arm and gave him the “I’m-freaked-the-hell-out” eye.

He? Blew me off.

Not a smart move, there Dork Fish. Not a smart move.

I turned to twitter. Those people love me. Those mommies care.

The responses were overwhelming. Not only did they care…they supported me with experience and advice. It was bliss. It was exactly what social networking should be.

I called the doctor first thing the next morning. They put me through to the nurse. I told her of the “boil” and refrained from speaking in hysterics or even mentioning the dreaded acronym that was already haunting my thoughts.

She said, “I’m sure it’s nothing, but we really need to see him to rule out MRSA.” MRSA!!!!!! SHE SAID IT!!!!! THE ACRONYM I WAS DREADING!!!!

Yeah, back in full FREAK-THE-HELL-OUT mode.

We get to the doctor’s, the nurse asks to see the ‘boil’, and immediately takes three steps back.

That is certainly comforting.

The doctor came in and took a sample to send to the lab but said that she wouldn’t know anything until Monday or Tuesday. “Although,” she had to add, “it definitely looks like a staph infection.”

We were sent home with oral and topical antibiotics for his ‘spot’, inside his nose and under his finger nails.

The worst part? Not making your kid feel like a leaper because you freak when he touches his nose, his brother or ANYTHING! Oh, and no son, you can’t bathe with Deuce right now. Please don’t give him your ‘used’ sucker. He’s good. I know he wants it REEEEAAAALLLL bad, but let’s not.

What does little Bonus do? He does the only thing he knows how to do…impress the hell out of mom and dad.

He walked in the garage and announced he wanted his training wheels off his bike. NOW. Shocked, we agreed.

He hopped on his bike and took off down the drive way. This, is what we watched:

biker beaux edited

Either it was his way of saying, “Screw you guys, I’m outta here!” or it was on his bucket list.

You never know with that one.

Don’t all men know cardinal directions?!

Husband (aka – Dork Fish): “In June I have to go to a seminar in Florida and wanted to take you guys with me.”

Me: “Where?”

Dork Fish: “Bonita Springs, or something?”

Me: (Googling) “OH, hey! That’s near Naples! I’ve heard there’s good shopping there! Not that I shop or anything…um, but it would give me something to do with the boys…ahem.”

Dork Fish: “Where is Naples? East or West coast?”

Me: “West. It’s opposite Tampa.”

Dork Fish: “So, it’s on the East coast then.”

Me: (rolling eyes) “NO. It’s on the WEST coast. You know, Never Eat Shredded Wheat *doing the little N,E,S,W sign with my hand*”

Dork Fish: “Right. Tampa is on the WEST coast too, sweetie.”

Me: “PFFFFTTTT. No, DEAR. Tampa is on the EAST coast.”

Me: (Googling)

Me: (Getting pissed cause Google is a lying bastard.)

Dork Fish: “Soooo…where’s Tampa?”

Me: (gritting my teeth) “I meant Miami. It’s on the opposite side from Miami.”

Dork Fish: “So, which coast is it on again?”

Me: “I TOLD YOU IT WAS ON THE WEST COAST, ASSHAT!”

 

He never listens to me.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

AND I TOTALLY FORGOT TO TELL ALL YOU ABOUT THIS!!!!

Okay, so last week we are going to the park. (Go ahead, pat me on the back…I am.)

 

I’m packing the little snack bag (kudos for the snack bag here cause I ALWAYS just send my hungry kids over to my friend’s snack bags and pretend I can’t hear them asking for food…just ask Jessica, Lisa, Jae, etc.)

 

Bonus walks in the kitchen, looks up at my apron hanging on the inside of the pantry door and says, “What’s that?”

Me: “That’s an apron.”

Bonus: “What’s an apron?”

Me: “It’s for cooking. You know, you put it on and it keeps you from getting food on your clothes when you’re cooking.”

Bonus: “Then why do you have it?”

::shrugs his shoulders and walks away::

 

See what I mean about the advanced sarcasm?! I totally wouldn’t have thought of that until the next day…

Shhhh…it’s a secret key for a reason.

You know when you’re sitting at your computer enjoying that last warm cup of coffee and giggling over all the blog posts you missed by being out of town and all the sudden your mind is flooded with that ‘mommy sense’ that you haven’t heard your kids fighting in a while…

 

…yeah, I’m there right now.

 

But don’t fret, Bonus just came in the room to inform me that Deuce was locked in the bathroom, but it was okay because he was able to move a chair to the dresser, climb on top and reach the ‘secret key’ above the door.

 

See? Sorted. This parenting thing is soooo much easier once you teach them to fend for themselves.

 

Which also reminds me of something I’ve always wondered about. What if someone is chasing you through your house to kill you and you run to the bed room to lock yourself in there and call the police but as you are dialing 911 the murderer opens the door because he found your ‘secret key’ that you had so stealthy hidden above the door to ensure your kids wouldn’t be locked in another room while you ignored them worked on your writing and sipped your coffee. Then what?! I need to go move that damn key again.

Bet they would never look under the mat.