Please don't pee in the pompas grass.

There are some things you should never have to say to your children. That title? I said that yesterday.

Twice.

To both of my sons.

And have forever scarred the neighbor's precious little girl who despite having an older brother, has never seen a boy drop it and whiz in public.

Truthfully, I was secretly proud that he knew to use the bushes instead of the middle of the yard like he usually does. (That's called progress, yo.)

But at the same time, I think a little part of me was worried about the therapy bill that my dear friends will incur when that same little girl grows up.

Maybe she'll at least give Deuce a cool name in her memoirs.